Foolish Game

We live in the same universe
But, it is just me seeing you every day

We live in the same dimension
But, it is just me needing you the most

You live in your world
Talking life with the one you love
Holding hands when there is a chance
Even you don’t care what the crowd think about you

You’ve been hiding it from me
For such a long time
It is a foolish game
In the end, I always know

So, I decided to play your game
I try my best to put the greatest smile on my face
Saying, “I am fine”, each time we meet
Replying, “Sure, anywhere”, each time you ask me to go with you

Maybe, I am immortal
But, you’re not
Eventually, we will find our goodbye
And, time won’t allow any return

So, tell me honestly
Am I significant to you…?


-dv07-

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Photograph

I saw you both
From a photograph
Spending some joyful minutes
While I was here in my lonely hours

I saw you both
From a photograph
Sharing some ecstatic moments
While I was here cursing my powers

You both didn’t see me
Didn’t want my photograph
Thinking you are meant to be forever
Grateful I wasn’t there to tell the truths


-dv07-

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A Cat of Cordoba: The Gentleman Series

“I think we still must build a new drainage system in the northern territory. Numerous new settlements, mosques, and libraries are being erected in Tulaytulah. Besides, the Caliph is hoping to see that we have a strong defence in the northern border with The Kingdom of Leon. Knowing that now they have a powerful king, we should take into consideration that they can raid the city anytime in the future unless we have reliable forces to defend the border.” Said the Gentleman.

“You’re right, my brother. Moreover, the flourishing civilisation here in Andalus attracts so many people from foreign soils to come as well. They come for different reasons. Most of them want to study and learn in our libraries and schools. They are interested in our expertise in applied sciences and technologies. The other thing is our caliphate guarantees every citizen to practice their religion. Muslims, Christians, and Jewish people live side by side in the name of respect, forming a thriving society from which other civilisations can take an example. We here are to reach our common goals, peace and prosperity.” Jafar added.

“Masha Allah, this is incredible. I feel grateful because Allah blesses this nation and its people. May the caliphate be glorious for eternity.”

“May Allah hear and grant your prayer”

One day in the 10th century AD, the sun shone so brightly. The light delivered its warmth to all mankind living in opulence. This was not just about that peaceful warmth. This was the symbolism of the glorious Islamic rule at that period. That sunray was reflected by the greatness of majestic walls, layered by precious ceramics and calligraphies, that surrounded the city of Qurtuba, the capital of the Caliphate of Cordoba. Great desire and passion for science and technology development filled the atmosphere. Art and culture from the Middle East and North Africa were assimilated with local traditions. Islam brought them together. Qurtuba was a place where the greatest minds met each other and work together in harmony. The Gentleman, one of many trusted architects and urban planners, and his colleague, Jafar, were among them. These two men were assigned to develop Tulaytulah, now known as Toledo.

“How are your wife and children, Jafar? It has been a long time I haven’t seen them. Usually, after Friday prayer, they came to you and brought you some foods.” Asked the Gentleman.

“Oh, they are safe and sound. Humaira currently is active in a culture house, alongside other art enthusiasts who are mostly wives. She is so ecstatic in making new art pieces, especially poetries. It always makes her happy. I don’t mind at all if she and the kids cannot be here. However, she said earlier that she would like to pay a visit next week. And the kids, well, I forbid them to come without their mother accompanying them. In the past days, they spent most of their times with their grandfather in the mosque to memorise Quran. Being well-known Quran reciters always be their greatest dream.”

“All praise to Allah, I am so glad to hear that,” said the Gentleman.

“How about you, my brother? Don’t you have any plan to raise a family? For sure, I would be glad if you can feel the same happiness as me”

“Haha, that question again. This is like a ghost to me who can emerge from nothing, without expecting it any single bit”

“I apologise if my question bothers you. I just wanted to know. And as your closest friend, I am hoping to help you if you want me to do so.”

“Please don’t mind. I do not feel upset and I completely understand. In fact, I thank you for your concern. This family thing, ugh, does seem so simple. But, I believe that is not the case.”

“So, what’s the issue? Isn’t there any women in Qurtuba attracts your heart?” Jafar joked around.

“Haha, what a joke! Absolutely, that is not the problem. I am just thinking that now is not the right time. You have known me so well after working together on many projects. You understand that in this time, my mind is solely focused on the caliphate and its people. So, most of my time was spent behind my desk and pieces of paper. I want this nation and its civilisation shine for thousand years”

The Gentleman did not tell the true reason. He simply did not want to lose his beloved ones anymore.

“I do understand. We have a mutual dream. With Allah’s permission, what we have done shall be remembered in the mankind history” Jafar replied.

The last line was scratched. The new city plan was completed. The Gentleman and Jafar would give a presentation to the governor and the rest of his officers. If the plan was agreed, the building of new settlements and other buildings would be carried out as soon as possible.

After wrapping those books and papyrus papers up, they left their working space. The sun started going down from the top of the blue sky, indicating Ashr prayer time arrived in a moment. As a routine, they went to the nearest mosque before going home. When walking down the central garden, the Gentleman saw a cat from far. He took some steps, trying to approach that white-furred cat. He did not expect it would get near to him as well, but that happened. There was no need to be an expert with the cleverest brain in the entire world just to discover that the cat seemed to starve.

“Jafar, do you bring something to feed this white fellow? The Gentleman asked Jafar.

“I don’t bring any food, but soon I remember that I left a piece of bread on my desk.”

“Awesome!” The Gentleman in jubilation.

“Do you intend to take my bread and feed it to this cat? Because I use to feed the same bread to my cat at home.”

“Perhaps we should try. I will be right back”

The Gentleman returned to their working room. He looked at the top of Jafar’s desk. He could see something wrapped. Without wasting time, he checked it out. He opened the brown wrap and found a piece of bread. His right hand handled it and he rushed back into the garden.

“I got it” the Gentleman shouted.

The Gentleman tore a small piece of that bread. He wanted to ensure first whether the cat was tempted to take it. He placed the piece on the floor. It started to draw its nose closer and sniffed. It ate the bread.

“As I thought, the cat would eat the bread,” Jafar said.

That small piece seemed not enough to alleviate its hunger.

“Perhaps, I should try to give a bigger piece than the previous one. Looks like this cat hasn’t had something to eat all day.” The Gentleman expressed his idea.

He measured how large the piece of bread he would feed the cat. Using his palm, the Gentleman tore a half portion of Jafar’s bread.

The cat sniffed once again. But, rather than it devoured that piece of bread, it soon grabbed that by its mouth and rushed leaving the central garden.

“Just leave it! You know cats always behave like that” Jafar told the Gentleman.

“What an ungrateful cat! Haha…” The Gentleman tried to make fun out of it.

“I hope that is sufficient for that cat.” Jafar prayed.

They moved their legs, resuming their walk. Occasionally, they enjoyed a large fish pond and feed fish living in it while walking on their feet into the mosque.

When arrived home, the Gentleman remembered the cat. Thus, he thought to save some portion of a fish dish he had for dinner and then gave it to the cat tomorrow.

On the next day, the Gentleman and Jafar continued to discuss their latest project. The Governor had asked them to conduct a presentation in two days. All required preparations became their focus on that day.

“There’s something bothering my mind. A representative of city government has stated that all materials we need will come from Anatolia, but this morning before you were here, I received a message that those will be imported from Baghdad” Jafar expressed his confusion.

“I think it is better for us not to focus on that matter. I believe Ibn Waqash will take care of them. Besides, he was the one who handled building materials purchase when there was a development at the Caliph Palace. I am confident he won’t burden us with things which are not our main task.” The Gentleman tried to comfort his friend.

“Yes, you are right. Then, do you think that the construction of a new mosque in Tulaytullah can be completed in 25 years period?” Jafar asked.

“About that, it depends on how many workers we’ll employ. We are not sure if the government will count on workers who already reside in Qurtuba. Or, they will bring additional labourers from another city, such as Kahire. Some friends told me that although they may be skilled labourers, they cannot blend in with locals. There is also an issue related their wage. They demand different rates compared to how much previous workers earned. I don’t know how much dinars our government would like to spend”

“Yes, I agree. It is reasonable that our leaders think all possibilities, even though it is so much unlikely. We don’t want any disintegration issue to come back and haunt us like in the past and torture our unity as one people.”

That discussion took a quite long time. Some fellow architects and government representatives also joined the conversation, contributing to a longer session.

“I think this is brilliant. I am sure the Caliph will approve your proposal.” Hasan, one of government representatives attending the meeting, suggested.

“Insha Allah, this is the best we can give.” Ali, a fellow architect, responded.

The meeting finally ended. Those noble men shook hand and greeted each other as they were leaving.

“You are not going home?” Jafar inquired the Gentleman.

“It seems I will come home in a couple minutes. There is something I want to do first. I am sorry I cannot come with you.” The Gentleman replied.

“Hmm, no worries. All good. Wassalamu’alaikum, brother!”

“Wa’alaikumussalam, see you tomorrow!”

The Gentleman was still firm on his intention he had in his head. He headed to the central garden, wishing he could find the white cat. But, it wasn’t there. He continued to search at the south hallway which was adjacent to the garden. The cat was nowhere to be seen. Without pushing himself, he sat on a bench nearby for a while. He placed a wrapped fish beside him. Not long after, he could hear a noise coming from bushes of red carnation. The cat appeared and came near to him.

“Hi, my little friend! This time, I bring you some food.” The Gentleman greeted the cat while reaching out his fish. Then, he placed it on the floor so the cat could recognise it.

The cat sniffed and eventually recognised that smelly fish. It took a bite but did not swallow it. It behaved similarly like a day before. The cat grabbed the food by its mouth and ran away. To cure his curiosity, the Gentleman followed it with keeping their distance. The cat walked fast enough, leaving the south hallway towards outside the building.

“Where is it really going…?”

The cat arrived in a building corner. It was pretty much isolated. There were some bushes and flowers as ornamental plants decorating the library. The Gentleman could hardly hear kittens’ voices. The white cat fed its four baby kittens with the fish. They fought for it. The mother licked their fur one by one.

The Gentleman who previously was observing them from a distance, now trying to come closer. Those kittens were aware of his presence, suddenly looked anxious and stayed away. The white cat acted differently. It approached the Gentleman then rubbed his head and body towards him. The Gentleman pet it gently. Meanwhile, the four kittens enjoyed eating the fish. Two of them began to get near to the Gentleman cautiously.

At least, the Gentleman knew that the white cat he met accidentally was just a living creature trying to feed its family.

“At the beginning, I did not know you alone took care of your tiny and thin kittens. I feel sorry, in this beautiful and wealthy nation, I can still found His creatures drown in suffering and starvation. Indeed, prosperity shall be right for all creatures and nature. Perhaps, humankind is too busy with their worldly affairs. Humans have forgotten their duty Allah has given: to preserve the world and everything in it. Perhaps, this is how Allah admonishes me to be better at caring for my surroundings. May Allah bless you, your children, and the food I feed you. Tomorrow, I promise to take you to my house. You should no longer worry about a shelter or foods. I will treat you with compassion.” The Gentleman contemplated while staring at the white cat.

He left the library and went to the mosque afterwards.

On the next afternoon, the Gentleman and Jafar went home together again. That time, the Gentleman brought a box complemented by layers of fabric in it. It would be utilised for taking the white cat and four kittens to his home.

“Are you sure to nurse them at your house?” Jafar asked him.

“Of course. Insha Allah, this is the best for them. And for sure, they will accompany me in my spare time.” He answered confidently.

“Hmm, alright. I guess you can train yourself to be a good father for those kittens.” Jafar made fun of his colleague. They both laughed.

They parted at the main gate while cheering each other for their upcoming presentation. On his way home, a word popped up in the Gentleman’s mind. He wanted to name his new cat, Mueeza….


-Fin-

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Wild Love

Love drives you wild
Love makes you crazy

But love breaks your heart
Love tears you apart
When love finds its own way
And, it is not you

So, you ask yourself how to hold on
Because love does not love you back
Love does not consider you as its love
Just like the way you see it through

In the end, you smile when love is around you
Not because you are happy that your love is there
You just don’t want your love to see your tears

Maybe there is no future for you and love
Because love chooses its love
And, you are me

I am sorry….

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Niklas: The Gentleman Series

In the first century BC, there were a Gentleman and his son living peacefully. The Gentleman worked as a librarian in the Great Library of Alexandria, the centre of science, culture, and technology at that time. His son, Niklas, was 10 years of age and a genius kid. His mother, Aglea, passed away seven days after giving birth to Niklas, more than enough to see his gorgeous face and name him.

The death of Aglea hit the Gentleman so hard. But, he promised her to protect and take care of their only child, even if it cost his life.

Every morning was a great time for Niklas. He loved studying and was admired by his teacher, Thadeus, who was also The Gentleman’s fellow friend at the library. His unusual intelligence and critical thinking often made Thadeus in hassles.

“Oh, praise the Muses, your son always makes me feel know nothing. But, you know as well that I always like him so much. He makes his mother proud of him.” Thadeus told the Gentleman.

“Be grateful that you just have to handle one Niklas. Just imagine if there were 2 or 3 of him. Maybe you would lose your sanity or even your memories.” The Gentleman jokes around.

“I heard that you will go to the South in few days. Did the Chairman give you some tasks?”

“Yes, that is true. I will depart tomorrow at dawn. The Chairman asked me to draw a map in the area which surrounds the river delta. His excellency Ptolemy have a development plan for that site. Maybe another theatre with a natural scenery”

“Oh, I see. What about Niklas? Is he coming with you?”

“Hmm, of course not. Do you mind if he stays with you for a while?”

“Absolutely not. With pleasure, my friend. I know he will behave nicely”

“Thanks, Thadeus. I will tell him after class.”

At the afternoon, The Gentleman and Niklas were on their way home. It was situated in the suburb, some hours from the library. Although the Chairman offered him to stay at a house he provided in the area of the library, he refused to accept his help. He preferred to live in his current home because it was calmer and he could take care of his camels.

The Gentleman always spent times to speak with his kid as a father and a son.

“Niklas, you always know that I love you so much. I am proud of having you in my life. You know those difficult years when I lost your mother. It hit me so hard. But, you are the reason I don’t give up. I miss your mother. And every time I look at you, you remind me of her eyes and compassion. By the name of Avraham’s God, I am grateful.”

Niklas smiled and hugged his father.

“I have to go to the South tomorrow. In the meantime, Master Thadeus will look after you. So please, be a nice kid and don’t upset him, will you…?”

“Sure, I promise you, Father! Hmm, in exchange, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, son, whatever you need.”

“Would you please bring me spring water from your trip? One of my friends said that there is a spring in the South and it produces water that can heal any disease and even make us stronger.”

“Haha…”

“Why are you laughing, Father?”

“Well, do you really believe in that?”

“No, I am not. That is why I want to prove my friend that he is wrong and everything he said about the water is just a myth.”

“Oh, I understand now. Wow, you are a real deal, kid. Nothing can make me prouder. All right. If I find that spring, I promise you I will bring it in this bottle” The Gentleman pointed a glass bottle he held in his left hand and promised his son.

In the next morning, The Gentleman took Niklas to Thadeus, then he left. He never realised what happened after would be devastating for him.

The sunset and the moon smiled at the Earth. Not so many stars were seen at that night. No clouds shrouded above. It was a majestic night until the human greed took over all that greatness.

Hundreds of warships and vessels were coming boisterously from the Mediterranean Sea. Thousands of soldiers landed on the northern shore of Alexandria. Fire, dust, smoke, red, and grey. Nothing can describe the horrendous scene.

That centre of knowledge, the Great Library, was not guilty, but it could do nothing to defend itself from this siege. None confessed, none was responsible, and none took the blame when fire and fury touched and burnt its mighty walls down. The flame shone brightly. The great library was burning until there was barely nothing left, but its name and history.

In the dark of the night, the fire still raged and burnt everything on its way. From far away, The Gentleman could see the fire. He didn’t think whether that was Romans of other nations that wanted to conquer Egypt when four soldiers brought the news. He didn’t care.

He only wanted to see his child, safe and sound.

He took one of the soldiers’ horses and hastened towards Alexandria.

He fell on his knees, shattered in pieces. His feet were shaking, but deep inside, he convinced himself to hold on. He ran between the ruins. All he saw were ashes.

In the next day, the siege survivors were trying to collect their remaining possession and belongings in the middle of the ruins. Some soldiers and colleagues helped the Gentleman to look for Niklas’ body. After spending hours and hours of restless search, they knew they failed.

Nothing could ever rival that scream. It came from his broken heart. Soldiers standing beside him tried to cheer and calm him down.

He lost his closest friend.

He lost the most priceless thing in the world, Niklas.

That curse, fate which God gave him, haunted him back.

That day seemed to have no end. Those hours were the darkest moment in his life. The Gentleman caged himself in Niklas’ bedroom, staring at his son’s clothes. In tears, he whispered:

“Oh, God of Avraham, give me the strength to face this hardship. Indeed, we all belong to You and to You only we will return”

In the next morning, the Gentleman buried his son’s clothes in the backyard of his house. Several Egyptian soldiers, some guardians of the Great Library and a few of survivors attended the funeral. He placed the glass bottle full of spring water alongside the tombstone. He kept his last promise to his son.

Soon after, he came to one of the guests, a young and talented Egyptian soldier he watched over for a long time.

“I give you my house, young man. Take care and live your life. This kingdom will be changing soon. I cannot stay here.”

“Where are you going, Master?” asked Pedaeus, the name of the young soldier.

“To a new land….”

-FIN-

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The Kid: The Gentleman Series

On a fine day in a modern era, The Gentleman met a kid. He was only 13 years old of age. The kid was so curious about the Gentleman back then, regarding all his “suspicious and mysterious activities”. After a while, the Gentleman introduced himself, so did the kid. The kid asked him so many questions, the Gentleman did his best to answer each of them. As he expected, the kid never seemed to feel satisfied.

In a peaceful night, the Gentleman was thinking of the kid. “This kid, well, I like his character, though he is a little bit annoying. But, maybe he has something. Perhaps, I shall let him in”, he contemplated.

Days after their first encounter, they began their “master-apprentice” relationship even though it was progressing to be more like a dynamic-duo partnership. Some friends saw them as something like partners-in-crime.

The started their adventure. The Gentleman shared all knowledge and experience he had, about people, the world they had been living in, and the reality itself. The kid, still curious about everything, shared his story and folklores passed to him from his people before him. In many occasions, the kid challenged the Gentleman’s ideas, being so critical and stubborn. But, it successfully made every encounter so fascinating and meaningful. For sure, the Gentleman was fully aware of this, realising the kid’s tendency to be fooled by life.

At that time, the Gentleman’s journey at the Hill was only 3 years. He realised how stubborn the kid would be. However, the Gentleman kept convincing himself and continued nurturing the Kid with patience and smiles.

“He won’t be here forever. Someday, he will leave me and start his own adventure”, said the Gentleman.

Years passed by, the day finally came. The kid decided to leave the Hill. He believed he would find new things to explore, learn, and achieve on the other side of the world.

The Gentleman felt sadness in his heart but knew exactly this would happen. Deep down inside, he wanted the kid to stay and take his role someday in the future. He could not do anything. He did not want to be an obstacle to the kid’s dream.

They embraced in an evening. The kid’s whispered, “Thank you for everything, big bro”. These words made the Gentleman startled. The kid had never called him “big bro”. They were so close to tears, yet they promised not to fall into.

Seven years after their initial meeting, the kid was all grown up. He excelled in his career.

The kid had found a lady, love of his life. They started a relationship, believing she was the one. Two years after, they thought the same thing. “We are meant to be together”, said the kid to his lady. It was sure-fire, they firmly believed in that. The kid proposed the lady. She said “yes”.

The kid and the lady started planning for their marriage, in the same year and the same city they were engaged. They were thinking about the perfect day. In the end of that year would be awesome. They felt blessed. A happy moment, the greatest day of their life, was imminent. They could see it clearly.

But, something was missing.

The kid had not told his “big bro” anything; neither his relationship nor his plan for tying a knot.

No, the kid did not forget him, the person who taught him how to walk in this wild world and live in it, the one who never put a doubt in him.

For some unknown reasons, he just did not tell his master.

Amidst his ongoing pursuit of happiness, a friend told the Gentleman, “The kid you care about is planning to get married really soon….”

The Gentleman fell silent. Words and feeling scrambled in his heart.

“Why did he tell me nothing? How could?”, he was disappointed, angry, and sad.

Perhaps, the reason was crystal clear. The Gentleman was never significant to the kid.

The Gentleman had lived for almost 57 centuries. He had lived in different cities, villages, kingdoms, empires, countries, and civilisations. He was involved in numerous fights and wars, encountered many people with different backgrounds; both friends and foes.

However, there was a price to pay and it was high.

He was never destined to love and to be loved.

He married several women in different eras, just trying to settle down, have children, and make a family.

He saw them grow old and die or even killed. Over and over again. Leaving him in pain. It was too obvious. They were destined to die, he was not.

The Gentleman had friends. They passed away.

He raised sons and daughters. They were gone.

Who could survive this suffering? No one could, no one would.

“Everyone I love, they will be gone. It hurts me to see them die right before your very eyes. It always does. Better for me to be alone and it is the best for everyone”, the Gentleman convinced his friend in the past.

Until one day, the Gentleman found another way, a new way of life; A new chapter in which he encountered talented youngsters. Naïve, yet gifted, he knew it would be challenging for him to teach those youngsters and guide them to fulfill their true potential. But, it happened, something he was afraid of. He became connected to them.

He started believing again that he was born with a purpose, something that would make him “significant”.

Learning that the kid seemed not wanting to share his moment of life, the man blamed himself.

He started wondering his purpose again.
Started thinking the kid was not the one he thought before.

The Gentleman remembered every moment the kid argued him, remembered all disagreements they shared. He realised a gap which had been built since the beginning. There was no bridge could ever stand their differences.

“All the arguments and debates we had in those years, hmm, maybe they were not discussions. It is him against me, and will always be”, he shared the story to one of his apprentices.

Although the kid might never care about him and they might eventually part ways, in the end, the Gentleman, surviving through ages, would always pray the best for the kid….


-FIN-

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Narasi Kebahagiaan

Pikiran saya sore ini agak mengacau
Saya yakin karena kurang tidur yang berkualitas
Di tengah-tengah pencarian dalam hidup saya
Otak ini mengajukan satu kata abadi
Kebahagiaan

Apa yang terlintas dalam benakmu?
Berkumpul bersama orang-orang yang kau cintai?
Mendapatkan nilai terbaik di kelas?
Dikaruniai anak anak saleh dan saleha?
Wisata kuliner di padatnya ibukota?
Apa kebahagiaan itu ada nilainya?
Apa kebahagiaan itu ada standarnya?
Apakah kebahagiaan itu semu belaka?

Kita mengenal kata ini sejak kita mengenal kata
Mendengarnya dari kedua orang terkasih yang sabar menunggu kita ucapkan kata pertama
Tapi apakah semua orang mendapatkannya di waktu yang sama?
Apakah semua orang menyadarinya ketika dia datang?

Coba kita tengok sekejap di layar televisi
Atau, ponsel berkameramu yang terkoneksi internet 24 jam seminggu
Ada mereka yang negerinya dihujani rudal rudal tanpa henti
Ada mereka penjaja dagangan berusia renta yang masih diliput kemalangan
Bayangkan saja, masih ada orang muda yang memberi mereka uang palsu
Membayangkannya saja membuat saya jijik dengan manusia

Ada mereka anak-anak kicik membawa gitar mungil lalu menyanyi lirik lirik melodi
Tidak bagus suaranya
Seringkali saya tidak ada respek
Bukan ke mereka
Tapi pada orang tua mereka
Mereka berhak bermain dan bergurau dengan kawan sepermainan mereka
Bukan di macetnya kota bermandikan polusi karbon monoksida
Mereka harusnya ada di sekolah
Mengenal budi pekerti
Memahami makna “maaf”, “permisi”, “terima kasih”
Bukan mengucap hewan-hewan peliharaan hanya untuk memanggil pengamen jalan
Bukan jarang pula melontarkan kata kata kasar pada penumpang bus kota
Alamak, mengerikan sekali negeri ini
Apakah mereka bahagia?
Mungkin saja
Karena mereka dipaksa untuk itu di kondisi mereka
Membayangkan kondisi ini membuat saya jijik dengan manusia

Ada mereka penjual kopi jalanan
Mereka keluar di malam hari
Bila kau tak percaya, coba saja berjalan di kawasan Kuningan
Di saat kau mencoba pulang dari ganasnya jalan raya
Mereka bertebaran dengan mengayuh sepeda tua
Dengan berbagai macam kopi dan minuman sachet di belakangnya
Mereka mengeluh, mungkin saja
Tanpa bertanya, saya tahu jawaban mereka
“Cari kerja susah, Mas”
“Buat ngidupin anak istri, Mas”
“Gak ada modal gede, Mas”
Dan beribu alasan lain
Seringkali saya ingin mengeluarkan pocket camera untuk sekadar memotret wajah mereka
Tapi saya tidak bernyali
Apa mereka bahagia?
Mungkin saja
Bersyukur saja meeka masih bisa terbahak bahak di atas gitar bersama pengemudi ojek online
Mereka harusnya bisa lebih baik
Namun, saya tidak punya daya saat ini
Sialan, saya jijik pada diri sendiri

Bagaimana dengan orang-orang yang tinggal di kawasan terpencil itu?
Kampung nelayan yang saya datangi bertahun-tahun lalu
Astaga, bagaimana mereka bisa bertahan?
Saya ingat teriknya matahari bercampur udara kering berpasir menyapu sekujur tubuh
Mereka bahkan tidak punya toilet
Apa mereka bahagia?
Mengapa tidak?
Mungkin definisi kebahagiaan mereka adalah ketika para ayah yang membawa hasil laut melimpah
Atau, sekedar menyambut saya dan kawan-kawan yang mungkin hanya membawa sedikit pertolongan
Entahlah, saya tidak bertanya.

Hidup ini memang menyiksa orang-orang yang bertanya
Padahal, kami hanya ingin jawaban
Jawaban yang bisa jadi tidak memberikan kami kepuasan setimpal
Namun, selalu layak untuk diperjuangkan
Bukan jawaban yang terbaik
Namun, bisa jadi memberikan saya seberkas kebahagiaan.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Ah, dia datang juga
Orang yang saya tunggu lama
Bahkan saya tidak sadar bahwa saya lupa menambahkan gula ke cappuccino saya
Baiklah, besok-besok saja lagi merenungnya….




*Ditulis di tengah keramaian kedai kopi di kawasan Menteng, April 14 2017, menunggu orang….

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A Man in Sydney - Part 2

Chapter 2: Bajram Serif Mubarek Olsun...!

Ramadhan is back! Bulan yang pernuh berkah telah kembali. Bulan yang selalu dirindukan oleh umatNya. Bagi saya sendiri, bulan Ramadhan selalu membawa memori penting dalam hidup saya, setidaknya hingga saat ini. Seketika memasukinya, saya selalu terbawa nostalgia dengan momen-momen berkesan di dalamnya. Saya teringat dengan masa-masa dimana sahur keluarga ditemani dengan acara Sahur Kita yang saat itu dibawakan oleh Eko Patrio dan Ulfa Dwiyanti, acara yang dikenal dengan kuis pantun dan klip-klip singkat dari single pilihan. Menjelang maghrib, saya besar bersama acara Asep Show yang menampilkan tokoh wayang Cepot dan ditemani dengan para bintang tamu. Acara ini begitu berkesan dalam masa kecil saya sehingga saya cukup kaget ketika Asep Sunarya, Sang Dalang, meninggal 3 tahun lalu. Lalu, jangan lupa dengan sinetron Lorong Waktu yang dibintangi Jourast Jourdi, Dedi Mizwar, Adjie Pangestu (digantikan dengan Dicky Chandra di musim berikutnya), dan Christy Jusung. Sama seperti film Dedi Mizwar lainnya, Lorong Waktu merupakan tayangan positif bagi keluarga. Tarawih di masjid komplek mengakhiri hari yang imamnya tidak jauh dari H. Muslih Nashoha, MM. Saya ingat sekali surat favorit beliau adalah Al Insyirah. Namun bagi saya yang saat itu masih kecil, tarawih akan jadi “mimpi buruk” bila yang menjadi imam sekaligus penceramah adalah KH. Ishak Iskandar. Dijamin tidak bisa pulang cepat. Hehe…

Ya, memori-memori itu bergaung ketika musim dingin di Sydney juga beriringan dengan Ramadhan 1437 Hijirah. Suasana berbeda tentu sangat berasa. Meski saya tahu ada kawan-kawan Indonesia saya di sini, tetapi tetap saja saya tidak akan bisa menghabiskan dan memanfaatkan Ramadhan seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya. Tidak ada keluarga dan teman-teman karib yang menemani. Tidak ada tayangan Ramadhan di televisi. Tidak ada buka puasa subsi-subsi. Dan, tidak ada momen lainnya. Makanan sahur dan berbuka pun semua saya persiapkan sendiri. 

Di balik ini semua, saya tetap bersyukur bahwa saya tinggal di “kelurahan” dengan mayoritas penduduk muslim di Sydney. Pasar Maghrib yang biasa saya temukan di jalanan Pancoran juga dapat saya temukan di sini, menandakan bahwa kultur Ramadhan yang tidak jauh berbeda. Bedanya, tidak ada aneka gorengan, cendol, es buah, atau makanan Indonesia lainnya. Mayoritas makanan yang dijual di sepanjang Haldon Street adalah makanan dari kawasan Asia Selatan, Lebanon, dan sedikit panganan Melayu. Saya tidak terlalu paham nama dari beberapa makanan yang saya beli, tetapi di antaranya ada samosa, beef curry, murtabak, dan sate (yang ini saya beli dari Halal Supermarket, toko Indonesia di Lakemba). Harganya bervariasi, dari AUD 2.00 hingga AUD 10.00. Saya beruntung karena lidah saya memang cocok dengan kuliner Asia Selatan. Namun tetap saja, saya masih merindukan jajanan Indonesia. Salah satu hari saya mengundang Fikri dan Mbak Tia untuk wisata kuliner di Lakemba dan berbuka puasa di kediaman saya. Kami pun memborong banyak makanan, berbincang sambil bermain poker, yang berlangsung sampai malam.

Wisata Kuliner bersama Mbak Tia & Fikri

Penjual Murtabak a la Malaysia di Haldon St.

Hasil Buruan Pasar Maghrib untuk Ifthar

Cobaan yang sebenarnya adalah ketika saya ingin mendirikan salah satu ibadah Ramadhan andalan saya, salat tarawih. Tentu, saya keinginan saya adalah tidak ada cela saya tinggalkan selama 30 hari penuh dimana mayoritasnya saya lakukan di masjid. Namun dinginnya suhu udara ambient saat winter membuat sebagian besar ibadah tarawih saya lakukan di rumah. Ditambah lagi di awal-awal Ramadhan, saya masih disibukkan dengan deadline tugas-tugas kuliah dan persiapan ujian akhir semester untuk Intro Biostatistics dan Epidemiology. Saya bersyukur di sepertiga akhir Ramadhan, saya bisa memaksimalkan waktu untuk tarawih di Masjid Lakemba meski harus melawan udara 6 derajat di pukul 7.00 pm. 

Ujian Akhir Semester Intro Biostats di MacLaurin Hall

Di antara hari-hari Ramadhan itu, ada kalanya saya berbuka puasa di mushalla kampus, di Old Teacher’s College Building. Sejak 30 menit sebelum azan Maghrib, mushalla sudah mulai diramaikan dengan kehadiran mahasiswa-mahasiswa muslim dari berbagai negara. Awalnya, kehadiran saya diinspirasi oleh Audy dan Mbak Tia yang lebih dahulu berkesempatan untuk berbuka puasa di mushalla kampus. Menu yang ditawarkan biasanya tidak lepas dari makanan Timur Tengah dan Asia Selatan, seperti nasi briyani dan charcoal chicken. Di sisi lain, saya merasa perlu untuk merasakan berbuka puasa di kampus karena bisa jadi tidak ada kesempatan lain yang serupa. Bahkan ada momen dimana saya diminta menjadi imam salat tarawih, berbagi kesempatan dengan kawan lain pengurus Sumsa. Setelah menyanggupi 12 rakaat awal dan menyelesaikan 23 rakaat, saya pulang dengan membawa 1 porsi charcoal chicken dari cukup banyak yang tersisa dari buka puasa hari itu.

Pada malam takbiran, 5 Juli 2016, saya, Fikri, dan Mbak Tia diundang untuk makan malam di kediaman Johan dan istri di Todman Avenue, Kensington. Saya tiba paling akhir dan bertepatan azan Maghrib. Maka sejenak setelah membatalkan shaum terakhir di bulan itu, kami menunaikan ibadah Maghrib. Kami berencana untuk memasak beef steak di malam itu. Namun sebelumnya, kami berkesempatan untuk menikmati soto ayam karya dari Rizka. Setelah itu, saya memulai untuk memperagakan sedikit skill atau tips and tricks dalam memasak steak. Dengan bahan-bahan yang relatif simple seperti daging sapi secondary cut, bawang putih, unsalted butter, minyak zaitun, dan tidak lupa dengan garam-merica, kami mampu membuat steak kualitas hotel bintang 5. Kami melanjutkan dengan bermain kartu poker. Sekitar pukul 10 malam, kami pulang ke kediaman masing-masing untuk mempersiapkan diri menyambut hari raya keesokan harinya.

Malam Takbiran di Kediaman Johan & Rizka

Meskipun berniat berangkat lebih awal ke masjid untuk salat subuh dan ‘Ied, saya akhirnya berangkat terlambat. Dan, saya telah sadar sejak awal bahwa ini kesalahan fatal. Tidak terpengaruh dengan fakta bahwa ini akan menjadi pengalaman pertama saya menghabiskan hari raya di negeri orang, saya sudah percaya bahwa masjid akan ramai dikunjungi jamaah dari berbagai penjuru kota. Apa yang terjadi kemudian pun memang sesuai dengan prediksi saya. Wangee Road yang telah ditutup demi kepentingan ibadah sudah disesaki banyak orang, menandakan area masjid sudah tidak mungkin dimasuki. Saya pun akhirnya salat di jalan raya yang saat itu telah beralaskan terpal. Saya bersyukur karena saya membawa praying mat sendiri dari rumah. Dengan berjaket dan berpakaian tebal, saya harus mampu menunaikan salat plus mendengarkan khutbah (saat itu cukup panjang karena ada tamu dari anggota dewan Lakemba) di tengah dinginnya Sydney. Tidak lupa saya mengambil beberapa foto dan video untuk merekam hangatnya suasana Idul Fitri di Masjid Lakemba. Saya baru meninggalkan lokasi setelah mendengarkan pesan-pesan yang disampaikan dari para anggota dewan. Hal keren yang terjadi di sini adalah isi khutbah Ied yang menyampaikan pentingnya diversitas sebagai bekal kekayaan Sydney dan Australia serta mengutuk aksi Islamophobia dan rasisme yang masih sering ditemui dan ditunjukkan beberapa tokoh politik di negeri Kanguru. Salah satu yang masih menjadi sorotan hingga saat ini adalah Pauline Hanson. Kebijakan dan ide yang diusungnya akan langsung mengingatkan kita dengan presiden USA saat ini, Donald Trump, tetapi lebih menyebalkan. Saya hanya bisa berdoa semoga kekayaan kultur yang ada di Sydney dan Australia tetap terjaga.

Suasana Wangee Road sebelum Salat 'Ied

Sepulang dari Masjid Lakemba, saya memutuskan untuk rehat sejenak sambil menunggu komunikasi dari Fikri atau Mbak Tia. Kami memang berencana untuk mengunjungi kediaman teman-teman asal Indonesia yang ada di Sydney, salah satunya adalah kediaman Mbak Ijan. Namun karena ada misskomunikasi, ibadah salat Ied di Campsie lebih cepat selesai dan kawan-kawan yang berkunjung dari Glebe sudah beranjak ke kediaman Mas Leo dan Mbak Kezia. Tersisa saya dan Mbak Tia di kediaman Mbak Ijan. Saya pun memutuskan untuk sedikit lebih lama di sana sambil menikmati sajian kuliner lebaran yang ada. Setelah itu, saya dan Mbak Tia berangkat menuju kediaman Mas Leo dimana sudah sangat ramai dengan para tamu. Berbagai makanan dan minuman juga tersedia, dari charcoal chicken dengan toum (garlic sauce ala Lebanon), rendang daging, dan sambal Mbak Kezia yang luar biasa itu. Di rumah ini lah saya bertemu dengan genk Glebe juga Mas Dani dan Mbak Sinta. Sekitar pukul 13, saya pergi ke Campsie Centre untuk belanja kebutuhan memasak rendang dan opor ayam. Untuk apa? Saya akan mengadakan open house kecil-kecilan besok harinya.

Setelah istirahat siang sebentar, saya mulai menyiapkan bahan-bahan halus untuk rendang daging dan opor ayam. Rendang daging menjadi makanan yang didahulukan. Dengan kata lain, saya akan melewati malam 2 syawal dengan begadang. Sebut saja ini sebuah “syarat mutlak”, proses merendang harus dilakukan sepenuhnya di kala matahari belum terbit di ufuk timur. Mungkin tidak ada basis sains, tetapi kondisi ini diyakini mampu membuat hasil proses merendang menjadi sangat enak. Untuk opor ayam, saya baru memasaknya di sore hari menjelang kedatangan Fikri, Mbak Tia, dan Johan. Dan ternyata memang benar, Fikri dan Mbak Tia mengetuk pintu kediaman saya ketika potongan-potongan ayam sedang digoreng. Kesempatan ini saya jadikan momen untuk berbagi sedikit pengetahuan kuliner dengan mereka berdua. Berbagai rempah utuh dan bumbu halus saya perkenalkan agar mereka berdua mulai terbiasa dengan kekayaan kuliner ini. Perhatian mereka berdua tidak luput dari tudung saji berwarna merah di atas meja serbaguna. Mereka menemukan harta karunnya, rendang daging yang telah siap untuk disantap bersama. Sedikit dive in, saya tahu bahwa saya berhasil mereka bahagia dengan persembahan sederhana saya. Alhamdulillah, mereka menyukainya. Lalu, Fikri membantu saya menyelesaikan pemasakan opor ayam, sedangkan Mbak Tia membuat rekaman video dan mengambil beberapa dokumentasi foto. Sambil menanti kedatangan Johan dari laboratorium kampus, saya menurunkan panas dari hot plate secara perlahan, menandakan opor ayam masuk ke tahapan slow cooking. Ketidaksabaran Mbak Tia untuk segera melahap sajian malam ini baru berakhir setelah Maghrib. Saya menjemput Johan di depan rumah. Mbak Tia menjadi orang pertama yang mengambil porsinya. Dan, kami akhirnya makan sajian hangat ini di tengah dinginnya hujan. Sambil bersenda gurau, kami bermain kartu poker hingga sedikit lupa waktu. Setelah membungkus opor ayam dan rendang daging, Fikri, Mbak Tia, dan Johan pulang ke rumah masing-masing. Opor ayam yang dibawa Johan tentu saja untuk sang istri yang berhalangan hadir di open house ini karena sakit. Melalui WA, Rizka menyampaikan rasa terima kasih.

Open House pada Hari Kedua Lebaran

Sesepi apapun suasana Ramadhan ini, tetap saja menjadi memori dan pengalaman berharga dalam hidup saya. Tiada satu pun manusia beriman yang tahu apakah dia akan bertemu kembali dengan Ramadhan selanjutnya. Namun, saya akan tetap berharap ada usia yang menjembatani hari ini dan 3 bulan yang akan datang. Saya menanti memori lain yang akan ditanam. Mungkin ada cerita Ramadhan baru di pantai, gurun savannah, atau pesisir sungai. Atau mungkin, kembali ke Masjid At Ta’awun…. ^^ 

 -to be continued- 

 *Tulisan ini berasal dari perspektif pribadi. Bila ada kesalahan yang tidak disengaja atau pun disengaja, harap dimaafkan. Semoga bisa kembali di tulisan berikutnya.

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Kabar dari Malam

Hai...
Apa kabarmu...?
Kulihat kau berjalan tertatih
Kuharap hanya perasaanku saja

Hai...
Apa kabarmu...?
Ku mendengar kau terbatuk-batuk
Kuharap itu hanya sementara

Setahun lamanya kita tidak bertatap
Dua belas bulan panjang membuat kita tak saling berdampingan
Ini salahmu dan kau meminta maaf
Ini salahku dan ku keras kepala

Kau yang hantuiku setiap malam
Tidak bisa tidur, tidak mampu lelap
Kini, aku menjagamu sangat dekat
Mencoba membuatmu tenang bila sakit itu menyerang

Aku masih menanti ceritamu
Bukan cerita ini
Tapi cerita itu
Yang datang dari dalamnya lubuk dirimu

Sungguh aneh semua tidak mengalir
Seakan masih ada kerikil yang menghalangi
Kata-katamu dan telingaku
Pikiranmu dan hatiku

Aku tidak ingin tidur malam ini
Tidak bisa, lebih tepatnya
Dalam heningnya malam
Hanya papan putih dan kipas angin ajakku bicara

Aku tidak ingin tidur malam ini
Karena setiap detik ini
Aku tidak ingin lagi kehilangan momen
Aku tidak ingin lagi kehilanganmu

Hai...
Semoga kau nyenyak
Izinkanku menghantuimu
Hingga fajar menjelang.


Ditulis pada Jumat dini hari, 3 Maret 2017, 21 tahun...

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Selamat Malam, Ramai...

Selamat malam, kota yang ramai
Tetesan hujan deras menderai tubuh
Kilauan kerlip lampu di padatnya keramaian
Aku menyimpan kenangan lalu

Adalah aku merindukanmu
Nestapa menumpuk seiring jalan waktu
Adalah aku menyimpan tanya
Berkhayal akan satu temu

Aku lalui jalan setapak
Yang pernah lazim di masa lalu
Tiada tanda akan hadirmu
Mungkin tertutup semarak

Adalah kau tak pernah hilang
Kau hidup tapi menghantui
Jangan memintaku untuk menghitung hari
Aku tidak bisa tidur

Panggil aku, seperti dulu
Tahun-tahun terbaik dalam hidupku
Panggil aku, panggil lagi
Biar kulihat lagi senyum itu

Hari sudah larut malam
Mari bertemu saja
Agar kau tak lepas lagi....

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